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Funny emails we receive from time to time.

-----Original Message-----
From: Name Removed for privacy [mailto:Name removed for privacy]
Sent: Friday, July 28, 2006 8:04 AM
To: Alf Temme
Subject: ROM machine


I honestly cannot believe your advertisement.  And the price is almost criminal.  Seriously, I am not joking here.  You justification for a $14,000 machine because of market demand is also ludicrous, and your claims regarding shipping costs are also insane.  If shipping costs were indeed what you claim, then eBay would not exist, yet they seem to be staying strong.  Thousands of Dollars to ship your machine?  Please!


And your approach is sickening.  It is so blatant that you are playing to peoples desires to be healthy.  Taking a good thing and making the consumer feel guilty.  Why should I care or not whether you are making money.  Yet you repeat it often.  Are YOU feeling guilty about something?  And your repeated phrase that 'EXPERTS' are the guardians of the status quo.  Did you read that somewhere and really like it?  Sure, itís clever the first time.  But do you honestly believe it the way you are stating it?  And to reference doctors in these statements, as if to say that maybe we should not trust them?!  That is very dangerous territory.


Obviously you realize that you are selling this for the price of a car.  I can go out and buy a CUSTOM built motorcycle for this price.  In fact, I truly believe that if I knew how it was put together, I could go out and build one of your ROM machines for 1/4 the price you are asking, and I don't even know anything about this type of fabrication.  I could then ship it to 4 family members for them each to try it, get it back, and still EASILY be less than 1/3 the price you are asking.


Insane.  I actually ordered the free DVD before I read further into your website.  Now I am ashamed that I fell victim to your game.  If you get this, don't even bother sending me the free anything... I am not interested.





My response to this funny email (To protect the writer's privacy his email address was removed):



Thank you very much for your excellent example of a rant email. From time to time throughout the past 16 years since 1990 we have gotten emails like yours explaining the way people feel about the price of our machine. I find your email such a perfect typical example that I will post it on our website for others to enjoy as well (leaving your email address out to protect your privacy).

I indeed liked the expression so much that I made a separate website out of Have a look, you might like its logic.

As far as ebay goes, the ROMs that sell on ebay have even higher shipping costs because people usually do not have a shipping crate and must ship the machine blanket wrapped with a moving company. But the shipping certainly is not thousands of dollars. Where did you read that? If you are not pleased with the price you can look on ebay on a regular basis because less than 1% of the ROM machines out in the country will change hands per year for some reason (people divorcing, moving to very small quarters and other such reasons). You can save a couple of thousand because they usually go for between $11,000 and an unbelievable $14,210 (highest price on ebay ever. Why would a person want to pay that much for a used ROM? (this one was almost 2 years old) They can get a new one for $14,615 or even better, they can apparently get a ROM-like machine manufactured by you for under $4000?). Hurry, because there is a real ROM on ebay right now for $9601 with over 2 days bidding to go. Good luck with your bidding.

If you have some more ideas for funny emails please share. I am always ready for some socialist points of view. Have a look at and welcome to the real World. I have a whole list of manufacturers for you that you can send your rants to: $25,000 watch manufacturers, luxury car manufacturers, diamond jewelry manufacturers, home theater manufacturers, private jet manufacturers etc. It can keep you busy for a long time writing funny emails to all such manufacturers. And then there are all these manufacturers that produce very useful consumer products, but they are the best quality, most effective but consequently the highest priced in their category of producs. Such is the case with our ROM machine: Most effective, best quality, near highest price in exercise equipment.

Your rant is already on our website for everyone to study followed by this, my response. There will be plenty of people who wholeheartedly will agree with you, but they are not our customers because they are unable to do the math to understand why people would rather spend $350 for a plane ticket coast to coast than take a $69 bargain ride on a bus coast to coast . Your time is obviously worth very little. There is a distinction between price and value. You would rather spend $3000 for a big room full of great exercise equipment that you can enjoy yourself with for many hours per week than spending $14,615 on exercise that you have to suffer only for 4 minutes per day. To each his own.

Tim, you just have to suffer getting the DVD anyway because the mailing of it is almost an automatic process, and hey, you might have some more fun with watching the DVD to learn what you were so fired up about. You can invite a few friends and have a good laugh while watching the DVD together. On average only one out of 52 people that receive a video "fall" for it, all the other 51 out of 52 are smart like you. So you see, the problem is not very big. Those ROM owners that "fell" for it just love our machine and give us a lot of referral business. All the people that can afford the ROM must know something that you will never learn because you are obviously going to throw away the large envelope with the DVD as soon as it shows up in the mail, first trampling on it with anger of course and thoroughly breaking it.

I feel your pain,

Alf Temme

ROM Manufacturer
From: john smith [mailto:removed for privacy]
Sent: Monday, November 06, 2006 8:44 AM
To: Alf Temme


Dear Alf.

                 My  name  is  John Smith.  I  am a  workout enthusiast and was  flabergasted  to see  an advertisement  for  your  "4 minute workout"  it  is  impossible  for  that  to  work and  where  do  you  get  that  goofy  price, it is some kind  of  scam,  how  the  hell do  you  come  up  with these  figures. Pleas  respond and dont  send  me  any  of  your  rhetorical  literature


My response to this email (To protect the writer's privacy I used, what I assume to be,  his alias John Smith that he used himself as part of his email address).




It is a waste of time to try to persuade a person of your frame of mind. We have had people with fairly rude comments like yours for over 16 years now and it is frankly getting a bit old. The best you can do for yourself is ordering a free DVD from us (note that it is free, costs you nothing) and read as much as you can on our website as your attention span will permit.


Quite a number of formerly rude ďexpertsĒ become instantly respectful when they get their impressive physiques humbled after only 4 minutes on our excellent ROM machine. Quite a few of them are now proud ROM machine owners. We are not waiting here for the next purchase because we currently have a five week waiting list (has been as long as 12 weeks, but we decreased our advertising budget). Only one out of 52 people receiving our DVD will purchase a ROM within the next 6 months following their watching our DVD. We do not follow up at all on the 51 out of 52 people that keep sitting on the fence or do not have the money to buy a ROM. People have to get to their decision on their own without help from us. So even if you order our free DVD (please do it on line so that we need not deal with some of your rude comments on the phone) you have statistically a less than 2% chance to become a ROM owner. Every 3 ROM machines out in the field sell another ROM per year by way of referral.


On our website you can find positive as well as negative comments about the ROM, we publish it all. In fact I will add your email here to the heading of ďFunny emails we receive from time to timeĒ. Have a look:

Positive comments from people that own a ROM or have at least used one:
Negative or ignorant comments from people that have never used a ROM and that are convinced it is a waste of their time to even investigate the ROM themselves:


So, take some time to educate yourself or alternatively write some more rude emails if you must.




Alf Temme

ROM Manufacturer



"Dan" <>

How do you sleep at night knowing  only wealthy spendthrifts can buy your machine. Thereís no way your manufacturing costs and even development costs could justify your price unless, of course, youíre only interested in providing it to the fraternity of the pretentious.  

Letís see, several hundred thousand Mexican built units at say $600 each or 5,000 or so units at the price of a modest car? Not too smart fellas!

Dan Changed Name

I sometimes cannot control myself when I get letters like this one. You might ask yourself why I even bother to answer them. I like to enlighten some misguided young souls and educate them on logical real World economics. My answer to Dan:



You must not get a lot of sleep at night. Being a socialist is such a hard job. Slaying all the greedy capitalist dragons. Passing out the socialist largesse (other peopleís money of course) to all the needy. You have chosen a tough path in life.

Have a look at a few of my hobby websites. Maybe it might teach you something and maybe it will anger you some more and make you spew some more vitriol at that injust greedy World around you. might really get you going. will show you why most forms of well meaning socialism lead to failure (Donít give them fish. Give them a fishing rod and teach them how to fish). Most forms of socialism come in the form of giving away fish. It is the easiest form of socialism because it only requires giving money or goods to people that are perceived to be in need. It is also the form of socialism that is received with the most satisfying gratitude of smiling childrens faces and crying for joy from mothers. Real satisfying that kind of socialism but mostly useless and countetproductive according to the .Teaching people to fish is a much harder form of socialism because it actually takes more than just throwing money and goods at the problem, it takes teaching and sometimes some hardware to teach with. Not much immediate gratitude is experienced from this type of socialism. It is the same as with parenting where some parents think that just giving kids a $20 bill to go to the movies or give them the money to buy their desired electronics du-jour is the way to absolve themselves from the real duties of parenthood that requires teaching and DISCIPLINE. To teach children and to give them appropriate discipline is so much harder and it is not met with a lot of immediate gratitude, quite the opposite, kids often very much dislike good parents that understand the duties of parenthood they owe their kids. About 15 to 25 years later when they have children on their own those formerly unappreciative children may see the light and appreciate those parents that used time and effort instead of money and took their duties as parent serious. I would put my effort here if I were you. It would save the average family $7500 per year. Two years of that would enable you to buy one of those overpriced ROM machines.

You could also pick up a copy of Robb Report or Dupont Registry (Newsstand magazines) and write nasty letters to all the advertisers in those magazines. You could also go to Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills and start throwing rocks through display windows. Whatever turns you on.

I did put my efforts and money into something constructive just waiting for unproductive people like you to not appreciate that it took me 10.5 years to subsidize the ROM machine to keep the project alive. Itís payback time now and it will take a long time to compensate me for 10.5 years not making a wage and having to pay money instead for the pleasure of receiving dumb letters from people like yourself.

I bet you had not expected an answer at all. So you maybe got more than you bargained for.

Why donít you get a few investors together and make your own machine that you can sell at a fraction of the cost.

Hope this answers your question on how I sleep at night. Very well, thank you very much. Hard work makes you sleep well. Griping at the World gives you stomach acid and keeps you awake.

If you want a lower price on a ROM, before you make your own cheaper version, you should check ebay on a regular basis. If you are lucky you can fetch a few years old ROM there for $11,000 to $12,000 . Happy hunting.

 Alf Temme

ROM Manufacturer